Either our off-the-cuff challenged comptroller is pyschic, or the Rovian practice of payback really is a bitch, cause last week the Department of Homeland Security — an organization that has already presided over the destruction of one American city without major changes to its management — determined that just about everywhere in America is in more danger from terrorists than us. You know, all the people who were never attacked.
In case you’ve been hiding in a bomb shelter (not a bad idea, since the Federal government has no interest in protecting you), the DHS massively scaled back New York City’s allotment of security monies for the coming year — a number that was rather unimpressive on a per capita basis to begin with.
Apparently the dog ate our homework: there were two reasons cited for the ‘adjustment’: one, a lack of landmarks, and two, we didn’t submit the paperwork properly. There’s an argument about how it was supposed to be received: they said we were supposed to email it, and we supposedly faxed it; maybe we did email it, but it’s on a laptop in some bureaucrat’s den waiting to be stolen. And yes, while your safety is being imperiled, we are witnessing an argument about how to file fucking paperwork.
In what seems like an almost hysterical response, a postcard campaign has been launched. Yeah, that’s right: postcards. You are supposed to go buy postcards of some of our not-landmarks and write things like “NY to DHS: Um, we’re not dead, except for the 2,800 murdered by terrorists.” or “Now I know what it feels like to be NOLA” (oh, wait, that’s Reed’s card) and send them to the small-time Bush crony who cut our budget while sending money to fucking Missouri, a place so backwoods that not only can’t American students find it on a map, but even terrorists would miss it.
As much as this seems like pouring a bucket of water on a wildfire, I can’t think of much of a response, except “What the fuck?” And given that this is more evidence that the stupidest people since Wrong Way Corrigan (well, actually, far worse) have wrested control of the entire government, perhaps anything more complex than a postcard will cause their brains to implode.
There was some talk that the problem rested on a simple misunderstanding. Apparently our submission consisted, in its entirety, of an image of the World Trade Center. When the DHS received it, their research indicated that the WTC no longer exists, and thus was not legitimately a landmark requiring protection funding.
Now, I just made that up, but doesn’t it seem more plausible than the truth? That regardless of the paperwork snafu, when the short bus committee at the DHS was going over the paperwork, nobody thought it was odd that NYC wasn’t listed as having any landmarks? That the location of the event that was the impetus for their fucking jobs was coming up with no targets of significance?
Maybe it’s all an outsourcing thing. In order to save money to fund another tax break, Bush has simply authorized turning over all those recorded phone conversation to terrorists, so they can have better information on where to attack next. Really, since every single news story about the DHS over the past two years indicates they couldn’t protect a hooker in a roomful of eunuchs, why waste all this money on anti-terrorism? Hell, maybe the DHS should just start killing people themselves, and save everyone the trouble. After all, a plurality as large as the one(s) that elected [sic] Dubya already think this is true.
But it’s not all bad: you can still move to Alaska. They got a big increase, and pot smoking is still legal there.
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Maybe Hevesi didn’t have a bad idea after all.
Either our off-the-cuff challenged comptroller is pyschic, or the Rovian practice of payback really is a bitch, cause last week the Department of Homeland Security — an organization that has already presided over the destruction of one American city without major changes to its management — determined that just about everywhere in America is in more danger from terrorists than us. You know, all the people who were never attacked.
In case you’ve been hiding in a bomb shelter (not a bad idea, since the Federal government has no interest in protecting you), the DHS massively scaled back New York City’s allotment of security monies for the coming year — a number that was rather unimpressive on a per capita basis to begin with. Apparently the dog ate our homework: there were two reasons cited for the ‘adjustment’: one, a lack of landmarks, and two, we didn’t submit the paperwork properly. There’s an argument about how it was supposed to be received: they said we were supposed to email it, and we supposedly faxed it; maybe we did email it, but it’s on a laptop in some bureaucrat’s den waiting to be stolen. And yes, while your safety is being imperiled, we are witnessing an argument about how to file fucking paperwork. In what seems like an almost hysterical response, a postcard campaign has been launched. Yeah, that’s right: postcards. You are supposed to go buy postcards of some of our not-landmarks and write things like “NY to DHS: Um, we’re not dead, except for the 2,800 murdered by terrorists.” or “Now I know what it feels like to be NOLA” (oh, wait, that’s Reed’s card) and send them to the small-time Bush crony who cut our budget while sending money to fucking Missouri, a place so backwoods that not only can’t American students find it on a map, but even terrorists would miss it. As much as this seems like pouring a bucket of water on a wildfire, I can’t think of much of a response, except “What the fuck?” And given that this is more evidence that the stupidest people since Wrong Way Corrigan (well, actually, far worse) have wrested control of the entire government, perhaps anything more complex than a postcard will cause their brains to implode. There was some talk that the problem rested on a simple misunderstanding. Apparently our submission consisted, in its entirety, of an image of the World Trade Center. When the DHS received it, their research indicated that the WTC no longer exists, and thus was not legitimately a landmark requiring protection funding. Now, I just made that up, but doesn’t it seem more plausible than the truth? That regardless of the paperwork snafu, when the short bus committee at the DHS was going over the paperwork, nobody thought it was odd that NYC wasn’t listed as having any landmarks? That the location of the event that was the impetus for their fucking jobs was coming up with no targets of significance? Maybe it’s all an outsourcing thing. In order to save money to fund another tax break, Bush has simply authorized turning over all those recorded phone conversation to terrorists, so they can have better information on where to attack next. Really, since every single news story about the DHS over the past two years indicates they couldn’t protect a hooker in a roomful of eunuchs, why waste all this money on anti-terrorism? Hell, maybe the DHS should just start killing people themselves, and save everyone the trouble. After all, a plurality as large as the one(s) that elected [sic] Dubya already think this is true. But it’s not all bad: you can still move to Alaska. They got a big increase, and pot smoking is still legal there.